This is what it's like in my head, but don't worry, I'm working it out in therapy :)
Thanks for reading and supporting.
[3-panel comic in which a girl with a bun explains, "If you knew me in real life...I might not appear depressed you." In panel 2, she goes on to say, "I smile often and try to be cheerful around other people...and I can get a lot done." She is smiling but tired expression on her face. In panel 3, she is super upbeat and more animated, against a dramatically rendered background, depicting an uninhabitable, high fantasy hellscape, with a volcano erupting and dark stormy clouds swirling. Speech bubble: "- but inside my brain, it's like 'Mordor' from Lord of the Rings." Comic titled "Mental Mordor."]
Thank you -- I can relate!
When I was in high school, my parents gave me the first three volume set of The Lord Of the Rings published in America. It came with a complete set of maps. I read all three volumes following along (with difficulty) by referring to the maps as I read.
The journey of the Fellowship, reduced to Sam and Frodo into the land of Mordor is emotionally dark---Frodo bearing the One Ring falls under the eye of Sauron and becomes increasingly depressed. It is all that Sam can do to keep Frodo going toward Mount Doom to fulfill the quest of destroying the Ring
You have indeed chosen a dark and effective metaphor for your feelings. Be well.
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